So now we are in the dregs of wrestling. Hour fucking 12 of the past 4 days after an excellent NXT Takeover, a fantastic Summerslam and a decent Raw. That pattern suggests Smackdown will be bad. Let’s hope not.
- Hear that monster Kevin Owens face pop to start the show? Thanks Shane!
- Owens on King of the Ring: “Take a look at the list of past winners. Bret The Hitman Hart! Stone Cold Steve Austin! Macho Man Randy Savage! Mable! Bad News Barrett!” Okay fine he left those two out, shockingly.
- “Asshole” chants for “ineffective heel” Shane McMahon.
- “There’s no reason to call Kevin Owens an asshole.” Shane is amazing.
- One day, I may long be dead, but people will say “Is it just me or was Shane McMahon the greatest heel in about 20 years?”
- Wow. Charlotte and her gigantic breasts vs Ember Moon. What a fascinating match to book. Ember has no business even sniffing another victory over The Queen, but do you put her back on a winning track after her loss to shitty Bayley? Or, do you further establish Charlotte as the alpha female after she destroyed Trish Stratus. INQUIRING “COWBOYS” WANT TO KNOW.
- Shane’s ever-so-slightly hard to detect smirk as Owens storms off. Chef’s kiss.
- Ember getting some fun high-flying offense.
- The Boston Crab. Rarely used in UFC.
- Ember taps clean to The Queen. As she should.
- Finally, the best character on the entire show, Daniel Bryan, returns.
- Daniel Bryan denies that either he or Rowan tried to straight-up murder Roman Reigns.
- “It was you!” chants by the crowd. Hilarious.
- They say they will prove they didn’t try to legitimately murder Roman. Okay, fine, WWE. I want to see.
- Samoa Joe says Kevin Owens needs to see that the only bad-ass around here is the guy who loses every single meaningful match.
- They always say the best wrestling characters are “yourself with the volume turned up to the max”. I wonder if Ali is annoying and preachy backstage.
- I legitimately like Roman Reigns now. He’s what he always should’ve been. Just a tough guy who beats the shit out of people. He was never going to be The Rock and keep you captivated with a 20 minute promo. Short and sweet. I’m gonna kick your ass, and then he does.
- The fact that this match went over 3 minutes equates to a fucking MAJOR victory for Murphy. Seriously. Even when he loses to a clean spear in a few minutes, it’s gotta be, in a clean loss, the equivalent of a clean win over, I don’t know, Samoa Joe or some shit.
- Seriously, real talk my dudes, this is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long and too much offense for Roman to sell.
- Buddy Murphy just got a near fall on ROMAN REIGNS. This is madness.
- THIS IS FUCKING INSANE
- OH MY GOD I BOUGHT THAT FUCKING NEAR FALL.
- This is like the best free TV match I’ve seen in years.
- SUPER-Superman punch off the stairs.
- Then a spear with an amazing fucking sell.
- Roman wins, but Buddy Murphy has just gone to the next level.
- Roman does a wonderful job giving him the “who the fuck IS this guy?!” stare after, and then asking the ref “He kicked out of two?!” Amazing shit.
- I feel like they should’ve done the respect handshake after. Buddy is not really a heel anyway. Could have EASILY became a major babyface.
- Snookie interviews The Revival.
- Hilarious. Elias is out as “Guest Enforcer” again.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ELIAS WITH THE FASTEST COUNT OF ALL-TIME. I just legit laughed out loud.
- Can Erick Rowan fit in a Honda Accord? Maybe Buddy Murphy did lie.
- King of the Ring is a great idea. Give me matches that mean something. ANYTHING. It’s just easy content to fill Raw and Smackdown next week.
- Randy suggets the 3 most dangerous words in Sports Entertainment: 6. Man. Tag.
- “Cowboy” Bob fucking LOATHES 6-man tags. Son of a bitch.
- What fucking loser teenager doesn’t smoke because of those little lungs in a great big world claymation commercials?
- I have barely watched this thing.
- Randy Orton RKOs all of New Day and twice to Kofi in an attempt to send “Cowboy” Bob home happy.
- We end with Roman confronting Bryan and Rowan.
- Daniel Bryan asks for an apology from Roman, which seems reasonable.
- Bryan claims he found who did it and NEXT WEEK they will bring him the culprit. Dammit WWE. An actually reason to tune in next week. How dare you.
Jobber To The Stars 
It was a great show! Seeing someone tap clean to our blonde goddess was amazing as always and the mystery angle is captivating, I hope a more in-depth KOTR analysis happens, By the way: It never said anywhere in KOTR that the winmer gotta a title shot at summerslam, it just sorta happened
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Pretty sure Bad News Barrett never got a title shot at Summerslam!
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Yeah, Though now I gotta ask, Since the list of competitors in the Tournament is out, What’s your pick for the winner
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So taking a look at the field:
Immediately cross off: Cesaro, Zayn, Joe, Miz, Crews, Elias, Benjamin and Gable of having no chance. (though Gable will get a 1st round “upset” over Elias because Elias called him short last week.)
Outside chance: Ali (they’ve been doing this weird vignette thing for weeks. Gotta pay off somehow). Andrade (amazing wrestler who could use the rub).
Top Contenders: Drew McIntyre (very easy to hand a silly “king” gimmick to), Baron Corbin (easy addition to his “list of accomplishments” in his intro), Buddy Murphy (to capitalize on the momentum of the Roman match)
Runaway Favorite: Kevin Owens
In the end, I see Baron Corbin defeating Kevin Owens after Shane McMahon interference to send two heels skyrocketing to even higher levels.
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I’m honestly hoping Buddy Murphy wins, He kicked out of the fucking superman punch, Which is an accomplishment all on it’s own
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I said this in this “Cowboy” Round-Up, but the ONLY thing that segment was missing was the “respect” handshake. Otherwise perfect.
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