WWE Monday Night Raw: September 9th, 2019 “Cowboy” Round-Up

Raw returns to MSG tonight for the first time in forever. Good ol’ “Cowboy” is NOT there, mainly due to laziness. Raw is usually a fucking SLOG to sit through live. Would be more than happy for WWE to make me greatly regret staying home.

  • I instantly regret it as Raw in MSG starts off exactly like it should, with glass breaking and a MONSTROUS pop for one of the best to ever do it, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
  • By this way, whatever this segment is, it is BEGGING for Baron Corbin to interrupt drinking a hard seltzer.
  • One day, if they ever let Seth bust out a “I’m Seth FUCKING Rollins”, it would be the pop of the decade. We need more cursing in wrestling.
  • “They’re ‘whatting’ me, and usually I hate it.” Seth Rollins finally a relatable babyface. We all do, Seth. We all do.
  • Tough spot with AJ. He’s nearly impossible to boo, because he’s so good at what he does, but he’s too vanilla and boring as a babyface.
  • AJ with a funny Austin impression. “Does anybody really care about that anymore though?” Hilarious.
  • The crowd going insane with WHAT chanting. Their own fault for playing it up. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
  • Austin breaks out “You got 18,000 people calling you an asshole.” They shouldn’t had SETH say that. He’s the babyface who actually wrestles!!!
  • Would love to see how AJ sells a stunner. Probably not possible.
  • It is possible! What a wonderful segment.
  • A freshly stunned AJ now faces Cedric Alexander who RUNS down to the ring to “Take avantage”. Logical, but also fairly heelish, no?
  • Repeating Bob Point: When I was a kid, if somebody did that Cedric Alexander flip over the top rope I’d probably literally shit my pants. Now I say “meh” and eat a gummy sour Starburst.
  • Viking Raiders save Cedric from the beatdoom, and good ol’ “Cowboy” smells a shitty 6 man tag afoot.
  • Credit where it’s due. As Becky and Charlotte backstage prepare to team up, I absolutely love Becky’s “Just try something, bitch” staredown. Also enjoy Charlotte’s “yeah yeah, I’ll do what I want.” non-chalantness.
  • NXT – if you hate FUN, this is WHERE TO BE.
  • I am not prepared to see Roman on Raw in a blue shirt.
  • You don’t get better women’s division action in all of WWE then Charlotte and Sasha sharing the ring.
  • Frank Thomas, the Big Hurt? More like the Big Hunk!
  • The Queen cleanly (queenly?!) pins Bayley like the tard she is, but that probably means shitty Bayley retains on Sunday.
  • The 619 has never impressed good ol “Cowboy”. If I feel like I can do a move, it’s not impressive.
  • Joe choking out Corbin, then Ricochet flips on both of them like a complete retard.
  • Corey even backs me up, calling him a complete retard in a nice way.
  • In a movie straight of WWE2k19, Corbin lets Ricochet hit his finisher, throws him over the barricade and runs in for the pin. And “Cowboy” Bob’s King of the Ring prediction remains standing strong.
  • Lacey Evans comes out as I wonder if I can jump in my car and make it to MSG in time.
  • Corey calls the State of Liberty a “nasty” and says he would replace it with the “Statue of Lacey” and commentary is muted for about 5 seconds as Cole and Renee are legit laughing.
  • While I’m not crazy about a wrestler selling for Ennes Kanter, I do find it funny that he is playing heel in MSG.
  • 10-man tag main event. If you’re happy “Cowboy” Bob stayed in Jersey gimmie a HELL YEAH.
  • Show ends with the Austin cheap pop to wash your mouth out of that shitty main event. I wish UFC would end like this just once.

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