WWE Smackdown Live “Cowboy” Bob Round-Up: August 6th, 2019

TONIGHT – will we find out who attempted to literally murder Roman Reigns twice? Will they be arrested and face trial? I’m guessing instead of facing any charges via the legal system they will be placed in a wrestling match.

• Few better ways to kick off the show than with The Queen. Seriously. They should kick off Shark Week with The Queen.
• One criticism of Charlotte I forgot to bring up during my blog on her Wrestlemania 35 main event: I get that she doesn’t want to just mimic her father and be a female Ric Flair, but c’mon, dude. It’s the Wrestlemania 35 main event! Would it KILL YOU to bust out a Flair Strut or a comical Flair Flop after walking 5 steps and dropping?
• Not a great promo, but a good pop for 68 year old Trish slapping Charlotte. “Does Trish’s disrespect know no bounds?!” says Corey after Charlotte berated Trish for 5 minutes and told her she would make her bow down to her. Hilarious.
• Wow, exclusive interview with Roman Reigns?! How did WWE swing that one?
• Ziggler comes out to Goldberg’s theme. Lame. Remember when he would come out to everybody’s entrances for like a month? I have no idea how the logical end of that wasn’t an ultimate troll of coming out to CM Punk’s music at #30 in the Royal Rumble.
• Ali jobs clean to Ziggler. Did he run over Shane’s dog on the way to the arena? Jesus Christ.
• By the way, if you don’t think Goldberg squashing Ziggler at Summerslam isn’t leading to a “spear vs spear” “epic clash” between Goldberg and Roman at the next Saudi show, I don’t know what to tell you.
• One of my podcast partners, Gabe “The Snake” said something ultra-depressing today. Basically that Daniel Bryan obviously tried to kill Roman (which we should all know by now), but that it will be a Samoa tag team of Roman and Joe vs Daniel Bryan and Eric Rowan at WWE Hey Macarena or whatever stupid bullshit PPV is next. Maybe they even call them “The Samoan Joes”. Ugh.
• Nattie comes out to no pop at all. I am not even convinced her Toronto Summerslam pop will be so great. Like imagine if we were in America. A Canadian wrestling company shows up here, and, I don’t know, John Cena’s nephew is wrestling. Only American on the card. Would I go that crazy? Probably not.
• Ember Moon’s “intimidating” face looks way too seductive.
• Kevin Owens says that people are asking why he never asked Shane to put his career on the line. Owens says it’s because Shane is a McMahon and will just do what he wants anyway. Logic!
• “There’s no shame in losing to the Best In The World.”
• Whenever they want a babyface to get a “big” line, they throw out “you don’t have any balls” or “You’re just a bitch!” They need to drop “pussy” one night. I’m dead serious. If Owens had said “Despite jumping off all these high structures…you’re really just a pussy.” Monster fucking pop. Guarantee you.
• Aleister Black tells Sami he’s not going to job clean at Summerslam. He’s going to job clean RIGHT now.
• Corey: “Aleister Black just wants to fight the best in the world, and Sami Zayn falls under that category.” I literally cannot remember the last time Sami Zayn won a match.
• Black beats Zayn ultra-super clean as we all expected.
• This Shelton thing is so weird that I am oddly invested in it and want, nay, need to know how it goes.
• The constant recaps on these shows are UNBEARABLE. Especially considering we will see MORE on Sunday.
• Kofi wondering why he was good enough to be HERE, but not the NEXT LEVEL. It must be because of Randy Orton’s influence, not because he is about 180 pounds with a weird looking chest, is decent at best in the ring and can’t cut a promo to save his life. He was a goldmine for 11 years and Vince McMahon just hates money. So he listened to Randy Orton. That’s the story they are going with.
• I really hope the internet is happy that we had to put up with this boring champion for 6 months. It’s not Kofi’s fault. It’s the internet’s fault for falling for this.
• My only criticism of the Daniel Bryan glorious character transformation? I wish he changed his theme music to the classical version of “Flight of the Valkyries”.
• I have not written about this main event because nobody cares. It has no impact on any storylines. No title is on the line. It is 4 wrestlers having a wrestling match.
• Match ends in a DQ which wastes all our time.
• Also, what the fuck was Daniel Bryan’s “career-altering” announcement?
• Oh shit it’s Roman again. Buddy Murphy was in the shot, so Roman questions him.
• Let it be known that Roman got “emotional” and looked like a total bad-ass. Seth “got emotional” and looked like he was about to have serious bowel problems.
• Buddy says Erick Rowan did it. He probably did. Okay, let’s get on with it.
• Daniel Bryan’s reaction is interesting though. Like disappointment? Can’t put my finger on it.

My opinion of Summerslam hasn’t changed. WWE has a habit this year of shitty builds to good PPVs, so I hope this is no different. But Seth is boring, nobody gives a flying fuck about Becky and Nattie, Bayley/Ember will be on the pre-show and Super-Kofi will get a “shocking” win over poor Randy Orton, who is a better superstar than Kofi could ever dream to be.

Would love to be proven wrong on Sunday.