WWE Smackdown Live “Cowboy” Notes – June 18th, 2019

Raw (no pun intended) notes as “Cowboy” Bob watches Smackdown.

  • Steel cage has always been my least favorite stipulation. It’s so fucking stupid. The object is to climb out of the cage? The whole point is to keep both competitors inside of it. So dumb. And don’t even get me started on walking out the door.
  • Not only is Big E hilarious on the mic (“The freaky hour…”) but his incredibly hammed-up “I can’t believe he interrupted me!” schtick is hysterical.
  • Here comes Rent-A-Jobber for the same “It should’ve been me” promo the past 3 weeks. This is much better than his stand-up comedy though (Yes, I went. I don’t like to talk about it.)
  • The problem here is that Ziggler is the least credible “threat” to win the title since Kane main-evented the 2018 Royal Rumble.
  • You just said “Bullshit. Kane didn’t main event a fucking ppv in 2018.”
  • You just Googled and said “Holy shit I’ll never doubt ‘Cowboy’ again.”
  • Dolph, this is a 3 week jobber run, you’re not getting an It Should’ve Been Me hot pink shirt. Nice try.
  • We’re at the point where I am going to need a blog dedicated to how shitty Bayley is. “WWE messed up Bayley” is the worst narrative you hear online. She can’t speak and the character literally comes off as retarded. This isn’t a tough mystery to crack guys.
  • For the record, on the Cowboy Bob Scale, Bayley gets a 2 for Look, a 1 for promo and a 9 for In-Ring for a paltry score of 12.
  • I know Ziggler is winning this match, but the fact that Xavier Woods gets this much offense is ten times more humiliating than Ziggler’s upcoming 2nd straight clean loss to Kofi.
  • I didn’t know anything about EC3 pre-WWE. I know he was on Impact. But once I saw him I said. Oh wow, he’s got the look. He’s got amazing theme music. He’s apparently decent on the mic? Can’t miss. Oh how wrong your beloved “Cowboy” was.
  • Bo!
  • Try to think across the scope of your entire life – has Bo Dallas ever not delivered in his role? Ever? I’ll wait.
  • Red Lobster food even looks shitty in commercials where it’s not the real food and has professionals making it look as appetizing as possible.
  • Alexa Bliss is hotter than most Hollywood actresses.
  • Have they explained why Nikki is mentally challenged on camera but normal backstage?
  • The Alexa Bliss coffee thing is pure WWE. Was funny once. Then it happens again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Until Cole is screaming “IT’S COFFEE TIME!!!”
  • Maybe Nikki is brought in to make Bayley come off less mentally challenged?
  • LOL Alexa with the Forever 21 line. It’s a shame Alexa will get crushed on Sunday.
  • Man. The money line there was Bayley to say “The truth is, you’re not a goddess, you’re just a BITCH.” Would be the pop of the fucking year.
  • Alexa’s promo was fantastic because it’s 100% true lol. Bayley is a place-holder champion. Bayley did peak in NXT. But since they brought it up, that guarantees an Alexa loss for Bayley to “prove” her wrong. This is the female Kofi storyline. An undeserving champ sitting with the belt to placate the internet.
  • I can’t believe my beloved Bo has to job to Heavy Machinery.
  • “Why is he doing all that spinning? It makes no impact on that slam.” Daniel Bryan is better on commentary during a throwaway tag match than Kofi has been on showcased promos since becoming champion.
  • The Aleister-Black-in-a-blazer vignettes are not at all doing it for me.
  • The problem with babyface Miz is simple. Heel Miz is a complete loser who thinks he’s something great. He’s a bad actor who does direct-to-DVD movies. As face Miz he’s…a bad actor who does direct-to-DVD movies who is cool and heroic? Huh?
  • “My dad was a billionaire and yours came from the dirt, he’s a baked potato.” This is Shakespearian. Shane is doing unbelievable work. I’m not even kidding.
  • OH GOOD. A MEANINGLESS TAG MATCH.
  • Awesome Truth reunion kinda cool, although you can tell half the crowd didn’t know it was ever a thing.
  • “Cowboy” is all about Mandy, Sonya and Ember. “Cowboy” can’t lose in this feud.
  • I once heard that they considered giving Ember a “Finn Balor” style story, where she is a cosplaying geek who gets her power by “cosplaying” as the werewolf character. I could’ve gotten behind that. But yes, it is very close to Finn Balor and we see how that’s going for him. Is Finn even still IC champ? Who even knows?
  • Were those fake breasts supposed to have nipples?
  • Okay I’ll ask. Who the fuck is Chrissley? Why does he have a show?
  • Poor Owens.

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